Wayward 'Snoopy' Balloon Goes
on Worldwide Killing Spree
'They just weren't looking out for Snoopy'
Post Detroit Reporter
November 25, 2010
A balloon that broke free from "America's Thanksgiving Parade" has now killed at least 27 people in North America and Europe.
The "Snoopy" balloon, based on the character from Charles Shultz's "Peanuts," broke loose from the annual downtown-Detroit parade, killing 13 people in the process.
"It was decapitating people with its steel cables," said Margeret Willow, a parade participant holding down the "Woodstock" balloon. "There were body parts everywhere."
From there, Snoopy went on to terrorize Chicago, Toronto, and New York City with its cables of death.
"Like most touring acts, Snoopy skipped Cleveland," said FBI agent Chuck Tisdale.
The Bureau got involved after the balloon crossed state lines.
The British Security Service, or MI5, became involved when Snoopy touched down in London.
"It evicerated a half-dozen people on the south bank of the Thames," said Constable Victor Welshire. "They just weren't looking out for Snoopy."
With American and British authorities failing to shoot the balloon down, the world is left to speculate, and fear, where it will appear next.
"Maybe we'll get lucky and Snoopy will get bin Laden," mused Tisdale.
